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Stories

Gun Grease


Missouri Iowa Nebraska Kansas
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No, it's not skinning bucks............ Developed and maintained by JP Finn




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Gun Grease

I started to do some of the mid summer projects.
Most of my major projects are completed at one of two times of the year. Midsummer and Midwinter are usually spent hiding from the extremes of the weather. Most of the smaller chores and projects are completed while at a doin'. I know that it hurts my image as a semi-professional drone. The fine art of Goofing Off is practiced in public, and the work is done at other, more private minutes. I have my self-respect, you know!
My project was to make a batch of Gun Grease. Also known as lube, patch grease, waterproofing and lip balm.
There are as many recipes as there are buckskinners. Each secret recipe is guarded with tooth and claw. Just ask any 'skinner how their goop is made and they will confuse you with a sample, recipe, detailed instructions on how it was made and a glowing testimonial on how much better it is compared to everyone else's greasy goo.
I'd never stoop to these low tactics. I will just flat out just tell you about the easiest made, best working gun grease ever invented. It can be used as patch lube, general metal preservative, waterproofing, leather balm, baby oil, lip gloss and hair mousse. This secret recipe was passed down to me by a recluse from waaaay back in the hills, that got it from a medicine man of great renown (although I can't remember his name just now but he was REAL famous).
You'll need one of those little (1 pound) cans of Crisco, an ingot of beeswax, a dollop of olive oil, a wooden spoon and a one pound coffee can (empty). Some cupcake liners will work pretty good as molds.

First, I have to give you the standard warning. All the ingredients are flammable. You can get burned making this stuff. Under the right circumstances you could burn down the house, as well as getting an "owie". The following directions are for information only not to be followed. If you disregard this warning, don't call me with any sad stories about how it came out, how poorly it worked for you or how it ruined your gun, your wife left you or the dog got the runs after eating your years supply.
You have been warned!

First I decide whither it is going to be winter or summer Gun Grease. Then I decide just how hot or cold it is going to be. I'm always wrong, so I just follow the rule of thumb. For midsummer, use the whole ingot of beeswax. For spring or fall, 3/4 will do, while only half is needed for winter grease. Whack the ingot into the chosen size.
Put the coffee can on the stove on a low to medium fire.
Those that are real careful might make a double boiler using a 3 pound coffee can about a quarter full of water, instead of just working directly on the burner. (You're not really doing this, are you?
I told you not too!)
Dump in all the Crisco, then add the beeswax. Watch it melt. The wax will melt slower than the Crisco. Stir the stuff until the wax is melted and mixed well with the Crisco. Add a dollop of Olive Oil. (About an inch out of a 8-1/2 oz bottle) Turn off the heat and stir until everything is well mixed. Pour into molds or whatever you are planning to store it in.

Now, other buckskinners will try to badmouth this recipe, but that's just because they are jealous. I told you that they will claim that their goop is the best that there is. Just smile knowingly, nod your head, and know that you already have the best that can be made.

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If you want to plaver, do so. Hey, jp!